Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Straight Up Facts

I'm so very glad I took the time to record those conversations before I forgot them, especially since it seems like they were the last ones to be had. Starting yesterday, Mimi became far less responsive and unable to speak. She is now not really taking any fluids, and not really reacting much anymore (she was smiling and responding a bit via facial expressions for part of the day today). We're really looking death in the eye here, tomorrow or the next day probably. Her brother and sister are here from France, and they're actually being so wonderful, I'm so thankful they're here. And of course WB.....he is nothing less than a saint. He just held me and rocked me for an hour while I completely lost my shit in the hugest, scariest, hyperventilating sort of way. He also held my Dad while he lost his shit earlier tonight. He's the official family rock, it seems, and my god do I love that man. My Mimi candle is burning (thank you Sarachkah) and I am going to try and sleep a bit...I have a feeling tomorrow will be an even harder day.

This feels impossible.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for opening up to us about all that's going on.

I have been praying for Mimi, your Dad, WB, LFM, and most especially for you, my dear, dear friend. I will keep praying for you, for strength, for comfort, for solace, and for the blessing of special someones to hold you and care for you, yourself, when it is impossible to be strong and keep it together.

I know that when LFM comes, you will see that same love your Mom has for you reflected back in his eyes.

M. and Mr. P. send their love.

Tzutzu

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry. All our love.

Darryl and me

Anonymous said...

i love you. i 'm thinking of you all the time.

nadia

Anonymous said...

oh my sweet love...my soul twin (how ironic in my given state!)

i know this feeling of yours...i am familiar with it very closely. Cherish it....in all of it's frightening sadness. At some point you will feel blessed for it. I love you.

I love you. Simply put.

Blessings to all of you...joy to Mimi...and a thank you to the WB for being the man that is .

Laurielou

Mim said...

Love and hugs for you and WB. This is such a beautiful post. Thank you for calling me.

~Becky said...

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

Treasure your memories. Share them with others. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, but so glad you have these and so many other memories to cherish. All my love...

Anonymous said...

You are in my prayers and my thoughts. Your picture will once again be on the puja at the next teacher training.

Much Much love from my and the kula

-Sarah

deeceesw said...

Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of of you. I am so grateful to have met and spent time with Mimi. I am thinking of you and WB daily and, of course, the little one.

Much love,
Dawn, Ron & Ryan

Liza said...

you are an amazing person.