Self Love

This morning's breakfast consisted of the LFM screeching like a banshee and flinging oatmeal and waffle pieces all over the room.
Ah, toddlerhood.

As I write this he is systematically emptying the kitchen cabinets and placing everything he can pick up and move into different cabinets, so that Mama can then blame Papa for putting everything away in the wrong place. But hey, if its not dangerous and he's having fun and it gives Mama just a few seconds of peace...right? Anything is worth a few seconds of peace.

In a totally unrelated vein, lately I've been feeling so very uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm much bigger than I've ever been in my entire life and I feel old, fat, ugly, boring, and definitely as far from centered as you can get. So rather than continually beat myself up about these things (and believe me, I can be quite cruel to myself) I've decided to do something about it. Here's my plan of self love:

1. I started a wonderful yoga class this past Tuesday..not Hatha yoga (the physical practice that most people think of when they think about yoga), but Raja yoga, which is more the spiritual side of things. This class specifically deals with the Yamas and Niyamas of the Yoga Sutras. This was a path I began while we were in New York, and something I've greatly missed since moving here. Tuesday was like a huge warm hug from the universe. I'm really excited about reembarking on this journey for myself.

2. I'm meeting with a good friend of mine tonight to start doing weight watchers, because I do need a regimented program and accountability in order to stick to this. Also, they're really good about nutrition and they give extra points to nursing Moms (which I most definitely still am). I think I'll really feel better about myself just to know I am doing something...I am actively trying to change my weight. Just writing that feels like a relief already. I'm getting out of the mindset that its impossible and too big to tackle.

3. I have an appointment for a haircut next Wed. Since I'm not ac4. ting at the moment, I'm going to take advantage of the fact that I can do any crazy thing I want to with my hair. I might cut it short and funky or I might get a purple streak put in. Who knows? But I always feel much prettier after getting a haircut, so I'm really looking forward to this.

4. I bought a dress. I haven't worn a dress since Jonah was born, because of the whole nursing thing. This is not only a dress I can nurse in, it also shows off the parts of my body that look good right now (boobs), and hides the parts that don't (everything else). While we definitely don't have an extra money lying around (we don't have enough room in the budget to get a pizza, much less a $25 dress), I think it is so very worth it. I already feel prettier. Something tells me I'm going to live in that dress the entire spring and summer!

So yay for self love...a little bit goes a long way, and it most definitely spills over to my family who reap the rewards of a new spring in my step and lightness of heart.