Thursday, September 20, 2007

My Co-opted Body is Turning Against Me!

My new top favorite super fun pregnancy symptoms of the week (excluding the 45 minutes spent violently sobbing in a grocery store parking lot Tuesday night, because while the moodiness is a barrel of laughs and all, its not really new) include:

*My nose is now slowly but surely emitting any and all pieces of its bloody self every time I blow it, which is frequently because pregnancy swells your mucous membranes to epic proportions thus giving supreme dictatorial power to your sinuses to reign unchallenged over your entire being. Its like having the bloody snotty nose of a cokehead, but without all the extra energy (which I could sure use) and teeth grinding.

*Braxton Hicks contractions, which I've actually been having for several weeks now and thought it was quite possibly a re-enactment of the scene in Aliens where the alien pushes out through someone's stomach, until I checked with my midwife at the last appointment and she assured me that no, it is indeed the BH contractions. Not that I'm disappointment, mind you, but that really is kind of what it feels like. I keep wanting to shout, "No! Wrong way! That's not the way out! Head South and bear left at the cervix!" Its not painful at all, its just super uncomfortable and pretty damn creepy. And I get them multiple times a day every single day. Whew, jealous yet?

*My tailbone has started to hurt. Not my ass, but my tailbone. Its the oddest sensatuion and incredibly uncomfortable (read painful, I just don't want to admit it). I can't find a comfortable way to sit at all. Or stand. Or lie down. Or breathe and exist. Other than that, I feel great.

*The famed lower back pain of pregnancy has begun. Thank god for yoga, that's all I have to say.

3 comments:

Jessica said...

I knew they were lying when they said it was a bed of roses and I should try it!! Hah!

Miss you. :)
J

Jon said...

I love that you still have a great sense of humor through all this. I know it's hard, but so worth it when you look back. You guys are awesome.

Robinitaface said...

Not that I've ever been preggers, but I've indeed endured a fractured coccyx. It's been 2+ years, and bootie hasn't been the same since. I just love having a random hinge at the top of my a$$.

I'm not a doctor, but according to the internets that never lie:

"In pregnancy, the increase in size of the uterus will stretch and pull on the ligaments that go from the cervix to the tailbone. (These are called uterosacral ligaments.) Then, the hinge-like weakness of the coccyx comes into play and can cause intermittent tenderness."

Those do-nut pillows may look funny, but really help. Have fun!